That's Entertainment

No ticker tape, no party hats, no helium balloons,
No title celebrations yet again for Wenger’s goons.
They’d had a run, surprised a few and even topped the table
But hold onto a 5 point gap, we saw they just weren’t able.
For all the praise the press heaped on, the goals they just stopped scoring
As ‘football’s saviours’ silky skills could only see them drawing.
First hailing them after Milan, then Birmingham they’re effing
“Conspiracy” the fans cry out, “it’s all down to bad reffing”
Eduardo to be fair to him, ‘that’ tackle left him slaughtered
But Taylor, did he need to be, hung, drawn and then quartered?
You’d think so, they called for his head, in fact he should retire
Football just had never seen an injury so dire.
He’d tried to cut his leg in half, or so they’d have us thinking
A ready made excuse before from 1st place they start sinking.
And Gallas in his captain’s role, well he just spat the dummy
Sulking like a two year old who’s told off by his mummy.
He didn’t want to play, he had the hump, that’s all that mattered,
Sod defending penalties and team mates limbs just shattered.
Still no surprise, this from the man who sulked at Nani’s tricking
And when he couldn’t catch him up, resorted to just kicking.
But Wenger surely missed all that with eyesight often failing?
Yet if his little boys get hurt, he wants some bugger jailing.
He puts his faith in his ‘young guns’ to show cash ain’t essential
Look, Theo was born at the club - and now he’s shown potential.
Maybe it’s his preference, for little boys and cuddles
Comparing depth with rivals though’s like oceans next to puddles.
They’ll tell you that it’s not their fault, it’s not their lack of cover
They blame the refs and the FA, they even blame each other.
At least they entertain their fans, it really must be pleasing
To hear them say “we wanna win”, then find out they’re just teasing.
Still second place won’t be so bad, at least the football’s pretty
No trophies to collect again, just the usual self pity.

Enough

As the run-in approaches, let’s see where we are
Coz, for a club ‘going forward’ we ain’t moved very far.
Where once there was arrogance, self assured belief
Every win we get now brings only relief.
No strutting on touchlines now that Grant’s in the job,
If he did the ‘chin up’ he’d at least shut his gob.
Instead he looks clueless, stands scratching his head
Dribbling and drooling, like he’s just been spoon-fed.
No conviction, no passion, not a hint of a clue
As top manager’s go, Grant just will not do.
The team, once cohesive, almost joint at the hip
Have lost their momentum and seen their form dip
As if every game, the fight from them is draining -
And instead that fight’s saved for each other in training.
Still, at least we can see what Ten Cate’s here for
Even if it’s just putting JT on the floor.
But Grant’s appointment, I still can’t work out -
I can’t see him reffing the odd sparring bout.
So what is he doing to gee the lads up -
As we’re soundly beat in each domestic cup?
Constant change of formation/personnel
In his vain attempts to make it all gel
Clueless tactics, no heart and no soul
Like playing Pizarro when we need a goal.
Or Malouda when he’s just huffing and puffing
If its going tits up, Grant just stands and does nothing.
No half time team talks, no rallying cry
This whole ‘management’ thing just passes him by.
So where are we heading? And just what’s in store?
Before the Clueless One is shoved out the door?
Champions League maybe? Is that where we aspire?
Or maybe the title, we’ll take to the wire?
I guess that on paper, the draw might look kind
But then so did Barnsley, its worth bearing in mind.
Then if we get through, it’s the dippers or Arse
In terms of prediction, I think I’ll just pass.
So that leaves the league, how much chance have we got?
My guess is none unless Fergie loses the plot.
So this ‘taking us forward’, the Russian’s great scheme
Does it actually involve the team?
Or are we just a marketing tool
So the Russian can use us to conquer and rule?
Spouting ‘world domination’, well yeah, but of what?
Coz let’s face it, the football’s hardly crash hot,
So enough is enough, this farce needs to end
Get rid of the Grinch coz there’s Bridge’s to mend.